There is no institution of marriage in the Western sense in traditional Indigenous American societies. Indians that fall in love with one another and decide to live together in a romantic relationship in the same domestic dwelling are considered partners in marriage. Some indigenous societies hold a simple ceremony for such unions that are officiated and blessed by a shaman or tribal elder, while other indigenous societies hold no type of ceremony at all. In many Indigenous American societies, it is customary for a man who is going to marry a young woman to give the woman's father or mother a form of a dowery in exchange for their daughter. My own paternal indigenous grandparents were an example of this. When my then 20-year-old grandfather asked my then 14-year old grandmother for her hand in marriage, he paid her father a dowry for his blessing of the union. (My great-grandmother had died when my grandmother was only 3 years old).
It is not uncommon in small traditional Indigenous American villages and communities for marriages to just consist of two people. Shamans and chieftans often have more than one spouse. In larger indigenous tribes and nations, polygamous and plural unions are more common among the people. In some traditional societies it is customary for a man or woman to not have more than four spouses, while others have no customary limit, particularly shamans and chieftans.
Same-sex unions between two two spirit men or women are also customary in most traditional Indigenous American societies. Bisexual male shamans and chieftans often have two or three female spouses and one, two spirit he/she (effeminate male transvestite) spouse, as did the great Lakota foreign invader resistance fighter Sitting Bull.
Spousal jealousy is not part of the psyche in most traditional Indigenous American societies. Therefore, one-on-one extramarital sexual liaisons are not taboo as long as they do not turn into romantic relationships.
Sex orgies are also not taboo in most traditional Indigenous American societies, including the two of which I come from. (Participation has always been optional). Indigenous American traditionalists believe that sex is meant for pleasure as well as procreation.
Divorce is neither taboo or uncommon in traditional Indigenous American societies. No life-long 'Til death do us part commitments are made. Irreconcilable personality conflicts can manifest that result in a spouse leaving the relationship, whether it be a couple relationship or part of a plural marriage. Shamans, tribal elders, and two spirit he/she's often take on the role of marital conflict counselors and mediators.
Indigenous American traditionalists applaud states, nations, and other jurisdictions where same-sex and plural marriages are legally recognized in addition to heterosexual couple marriages.
2 comments:
A divorce usually occurs at the behest of one party, and oftentimes, the other spouse does not want it. So in a tribal setting where you cannot avoid a divorced partner, how does the person subject to unrequited love deal with having to constantly see their previous significant other with another lover/romantic interest? In nature, the males often fight to the death over a mate, and in the modern world, you can just move away and never see them again, but how did people deal with this in a communal setting?
And do you have any methods/advice on how to resist or reset the jealous mindset of the modern mind? People are so possessive nowadays (myself included unfortunately) that even murders and suicides occur simply due to relational jealousy, especially in this ignorant, divided culture. Did the matriarchal society of the indigenous American peoples help to soothe these conflicts in the past? I have personally found grandmothers to give the best relationship advice, especially to their granddaughters (even if it is ignored), since women statistically file for divorce or breakup significantly more than men nowadays. Any thoughts?
Yes indeed jealousy as related to romantic relationships is a challenge for the heart and mind to overcome. Broken hearts for most folks tend to heal over time, and they eventually experience the 'there are other fish in the sea' happy outcome. Those that experience serious ongoing grief and depression over the loss of a loved one either by death or the undesired breakup of a relationship need to get all the support they can get from family and friends, and also a professional mental health therapist.
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